 Our Values
Our values are the foundation of who we are and what makes us, but theyâre also essential in helping shape our future. With so many decisions to make, itâs crucial to have a standard for success because when you know your true self, all else will follow suit.
Comradery
comradery
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
I believe the quality of our lives is a direct reflection of the depth and quality of our relationships.
I donât think there is a single successful human alive that canât attribute a part of their results in life to the support of the people theyâve had along the way and the support network they currently work within.
For men, comradery may be something even more profound than friendship. Comradery means weâve been through the wringer together and helped each other overcome our challenges and face our demons. To me, comradery can only be created when two people struggle together.
The problem many men face today, and perhaps you can relate to this yourself, is that many men have their mates; the guys they drink with, maybe get their families together for BBQs or give each other a thumbs up on Facebook every now and again.
But do you have mates you sweat your ass off and push your physical limits with?
Do you have mates who have literally or metaphorically carried you and whom youâve carried yourself?
Do you have mates you could reveal your most painful thoughts to?
Do you think your friends know who you really are at your core, and vice versa?
Comradery
Camaraderie doesnât happen by accident; developing a strong sense of trust, accountability, and togetherness around team goals requires intentional effort. Don Yaeger
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
âTrue friends are people who donât let you avoid the challengesâ
Now I wouldnât blame you if you found any of those questions confronting. I think most men would. Most men think, âI wouldnât tell my mates about my darkest thoughts⊠And I donât really want to push myself to the point where Iâm gasping for air!â. If thatâs where your head is at, then I get it. Neither of those things is pleasant, but sometimes life is suffering, and how much pain we can take will ultimately determine how far we go.
True friends are people who donât let you avoid the challenges you need to get past to create the life you want, and they increase your capacity to contend with pain in your life by taking place by your side during those times.
Iâm aware that that sounds pretty intense⊠Maybe you thought this would be about the benefits of hand holding and singing kumbaya! No, comradery amongst men is about building bonds of trust that allow you to know in your heart that this guy has your back no matter what. This level of support will enable men to perform at a level they never knew they could.
This is one of the reasons Unbreakable Man includes the Spartan in its logo. The Spartan symbolises comradery because without this deep trust forged throughout all the trials they had endured together, thereâs no way 300 men could have stood against an entire Persian army and battled the way they did.
So for men who genuinely want to become the best they can be in physical & mental health, relationships, personal & professional success. I hope you can see how much of a difference it would make to be a part of a team of men who share these bonds of trust and a willingness to go the distance.
You may think that you could never be a part of a group like that, or that itâs a bit much for you, and for some people, it may very well be. But remember, this trust is built over time, and itâs not created by being a perfect teammate. Itâs produced when the men youâre with can see you constantly trying your hardest. You will absolutely fail along the way, and thatâs just another moment where trust is developed as your team helps you pick yourself up. Eventually, youâll become a team member who can carry his own burden and help other new members carry theirs.
âWe all need a support networkâ
Any manâs life will benefit from having a masculine support network like this around him. So if youâre a man who is genuinely aiming to be the best he can be, who isnât willing to settle for the mundane anymore, start looking for a team like this. When you think youâve found it and have reason to believe, itâs the team youâve been looking for, allow yourself to accept the support offered and remember to repay the favour to those who join after you.
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Confidence
confidence
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
You may or may not think of yourself as a âconfident guyâ.
When we think of the stereotypical confident guy, we might imagine the well-dressed, well-groomed, fit, strong, and assertive dude who seems to be able to effortlessly gain the affections of everyone he meets.
Maybe you think youâve got a touch of this, or perhaps you think youâre on the complete opposite end of the spectrum⊠either way, it doesnât matter because this isnât the vision of confidence that Iâm talking about, nor is what we need to develop as men.
Being willing to expose ourselves to failure requires the type of confidence that can change our lives and those around us.
Confidence can only be developed through exposure. Once weâve had enough experience with a thing, learnt how it works and how we can best use it, we feel confident in this area.
The main problem that I think many men face today is that as theyâve gotten older, theyâve stopped trying new things and opened themselves up to the possibility of failure.
Think about it.
Confidence
Believe you can, and youâre halfway there.Â
Theodore Roosevelt
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
âWe get comfortable in the life weâve created for ourselvesâ
As we were growing up, everything we experienced was new, and chances are we were absolutely rubbish at each of these things the first time we tried them! There was a time in your life when you couldnât walk, or when you couldnât tie your shoes, or when you didnât know how to put a condom on! Each of those moments likely came with failures that caused embarrassment or frustration at the time, but you got through them just fine, and now youâre confident in your ability to do those things, and your life has improved.
But for most men, there seems to be a moment in our lives where trying new things that might make us look like a fool becomes unacceptable. It happens right around the time we get to a stage in our lives where our career path is laid out for us, and we can at the very least provide for ourselves and our family.
Many men seem to get to this stage, settle in, and stop trying to learn new things. We get comfortable in the life weâve created for ourselves. Without consistent exposure to new challenges or a focus on the things we wish we were better at, we lose faith in ourselves to be able to do anything outside of our little bubble.
This is what keeps a lot of us stuck in said little bubble. But not doing something we know we need to do until we have confidence in our ability is like putting the cart before the horse. Most of the things we need to get good at to improve the critical areas of our lives (health, relationships, professional success) require a lot of trying before we really know what weâre doing. Once we know, we feel confident in these areas.
So you might be thinking, ok, well, how does that help then? If I need the confidence to start, and Iâm not going to feel confident until Iâm well into the process, how do I get the confidence to start?
Try this:
Next time you think about doing something new or taking action in an area you donât feel confident in, ask yourself: âWhat is going to happen if I screw this up?â.
If your answer is something like: âThereâs a high probability of death or severe injuryâ or âIâll lose all my life savings, and my family will be out on the street in a week,â you may reconsider taking that action⊠Youâll need a lot of confidence in yourself to take risks like that!
âI might get rejectedâ
But most of the time, our answer is something like: âIâll look like a dickheadâ, or âIt might not be worth the moneyâ, or âI might get rejectedâ. Are any of those things actually going to hurt you? Nope. Are you or anyone else going to care about these outcomes a week later? Probably not.
The confidence that we need to develop if we want to build a life that weâre happy with is the confidence that weâll be ok no matter what happens. If youâre able to remind yourself of that and that failure is a necessary part of the process, then youâll have all the confidence you need to begin making any change you want to make in your life.
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Leadership
leadership
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
It is said that every great leader leads from the front. A great leader sets the example by having the courage to boldly take the first steps into the unknown and ensure the path is safe for their followers.
You may be reading this and thinking to yourself.
Well, firstly, mate, thatâs ok. You donât have to be the loudest, wisest, or most experienced person in the room to have good leadership skills. When it comes to being Unbreakable, leadership isnât about how good we are at leading others; itâs about our ability to lead ourselves first and foremost.
Try thinking about yourself in this way:
Leadership
I suck at leading⊠Iâd much rather let someone else take the reins. Iâm not the guy who can talk in front of a crowd or take command in a tough situation.
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
âMotivate your internal employee to do the best work they can doâ
You are both your own boss and your own employee simultaneously because you tell yourself what to do (or what you should be doing), and then you either do those things or you donât!
And where should we look in an organisation if the employees arenât doing their job correctly or donât feel like they can?
We have to look at the person in charge, and thatâs no different within ourselves.
For example, youâve come to this page to find some clarity on how you can improve the parts of your life that youâre not happy with, right? Maybe you need to get in shape or fix some part of your personal life. Now you may not know all the things you need to do to address those problems, but if I asked you, I bet you could come up with a list of at least 5 specific things that you could either start doing or STOP DOING; that would help!
Such as:
- I need to quit smoking.Â
- I need to start exercising.Â
- I need to stop eating junk food.Â
- I need to spend more quality time with my kids when I get home from work.Â
- I need to create a budget for my weekly expenses.Â
These are just a few things that many of us know we could do to improve our situation, yet we donât do them, or we try, fail, and stop. WHY?Â
Perhaps your internal boss hasnât had enough leadership training to motivate your internal employee to do the best work they can do.Â
âWe wonât make excusesâ
If we can become a great leader for ourselves, then we can motivate and inspire our actions to change the parts of our lives weâre not happy about. We can take responsibility for everything that happens in our lives and hold ourselves accountable. We wonât make excuses; weâll accept our own flaws and learn to understand why we do certain things that donât help us. This improved understanding of ourselves is what allows us to grow and create change that lasts.
If you do this, youâll be a great leader for others as well, and they wonât follow you because of the words you say; they will follow you because of the man you have become.
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Purpose
purpose
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
Finding your purpose in life can help drive out the darkness that often comes with feeling lost. Itâs essential for anyone who wants to improve themselves and make something worthwhile in their life. Your purpose is your ultimate destination; itâs the goal that connects your plans. Your purpose helps you define the path ahead of you.
There are millions of different avenues we can take in life, but we donât have enough time to explore even a tiny fraction of whatâs out there. Thatâs why weâve got to be very specific, clear, and confident that what weâre spending our time working towards is what we truly want.
Figuring this out does take time and consistent effort, and if youâre anything like me (an average guy), then youâll likely try a few different paths, realise they donât really speak to you in a meaningful way, drop them and try the next potential option.
This process is necessary for gathering information about where you do and donât want to go in your life. This is the first hurdle for anyone trying to make a meaningful and lasting change. It requires some fumbling around in the dark at the start before you know enough about yourself and about what life has to offer to be able to identify a meaningful purpose and map out a pathway to fulfilling that purpose.
Purpose
Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.
Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
âWhat do I want to do with my life?â
Unfortunately, this hurdle stops most men because, as men, we donât like admitting that we have no fucking idea what weâre doing or where weâre going. Itâs bloody uncomfortable and doesnât make us feel particularly manly⊠So most men never figure out the answer to this question. They go through life with no clear direction, reacting to problems as they show up, constantly chasing their tales instead of proactively deciding âWho do I want to be?â and âWhat do I want to do with my life?â.
Iâve had men pay me thousands over the years for training and coaching, with a constant focus on purpose and life goals, but itâs not until I sit them down and slap them in the face with a notepad and pen that I get them to seriously think about this question!
Why is that? Because as men, weâre used to knowing the answer or how to get it, but answering this question requires a man to open himself up to failure. This is a question you can only gain the answer to from experience, and some of those experiences will likely hurt in the moment.
I understand why this probably doesnât feel that appealing to you right now⊠and I canât make you believe itâs worth the pain. All I can tell you is why I chose to do this in my life, and thatâs because I think the alternative is worse. To live a life with no purpose, dull, unfulfilling jobs, drinking and comfort eating, and surrounding myself with people who are just as lost as me, eventually, getting old and realising too late that I could have done so much more. This is the greatest tragedy I can imagine.
âWhat do you regret the most?â
Donât believe me? In 2017 Today interviewed 1500 people over 65 to ask them: âWhat do you regret the most?â The vast majority of answers involved regret towards what they didnât do in their lives rather than any mistakes they had made. https://www.today.com/health/biggest-regrets-older-people-share-what-they-d-do-differently-t118918Â
This is the fate of people who donât take the time to figure out whatâs really important to them in life and what they need to do to live up to those standards. So if you donât decide to join us here at The Unbreakable Man, please do one thing after visiting our page: start the journey to FIND YOUR PURPOSE. Your lifeâs journey canât begin until you know where youâre going.
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Resilience
resilience
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
Resilience is the epitome of The Unbreakable Man.
âItâs our ability to withstand adversity, bounce back, and grow despite lifeâs downturns,â says Amit Sood, MD, of the Resilience Resource Centre.
Life is absolutely chock-a-block full of challenges and curve balls that we canât see coming. You know precisely what Iâm talking about. As a man reading this, you can probably list at least 10 significant events in your life where you were under immense pressure or had to deal with a seriously painful or traumatic experience.
Rejection, tragedy, loss of income, and much worse happen to good people worldwide. In the circumstances like these, itâs easy for any one of us to point to the painful situation weâre dealing with and use it as the reason we canât go on, and itâs easy for anyone around us to let us off the hook because they would likely make the same decision.
Being able to effectively withstand and bounce back from the stress and pressure of situations like this is incredibly important because, at the end of the day, it does not matter how hard youâve got itâŠ
Resilience
Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems. Gever Tulley
Men aren’t born, they’re built!
âYou must do the workâ
If you genuinely want to live a life that youâre proud of and be the man you want to be for yourself and others, then thereâs no way around the fact that YOU MUST DO THE WORK.
You must be able to act on your goals regardless of the crap life is throwing at you because nobody can give you that life, and nobody can turn you into that man. You must develop them both. The only alternative is to accept what life gives you as the best you can get. If youâre not satisfied with that, or youâre deeply unhappy about your lot in life, then doing the work has to be a MUST, and resilience is a crucial component of that.
Knowing youâve got to do the work to get the reward does not make the path any more accessible and doesnât help you develop your resilience.
So how can we do this as men? The answer combines developing your own personal coping strategies and surrounding yourself with a support network of like-minded men. That said, your ability to obtain both key factors means you will ultimately need to choose hardship voluntarily.Â
Think of your level of resilience as if it were a muscle. To strengthen our muscles, weâve got to challenge them, and we need to add resistance and force them to work close to their maximum. Our bodyâs natural response is to divert energy into growing that muscle to make sure itâs better prepared to deal with that stress and pressure in the future. Figuring out what strategies will work for you in times of hardship can only happen if youâve practised them, which means challenging yourself.
As we challenge ourselves, we learn where the cracks are in our armour, which means we can patch them, strengthening our armour!
One problem I see with many men is that they donât want to know about the cracks in their armour because, as men, we donât like acknowledging our weaknesses, especially not in front of others. Where this trips most guys up is that the cracks exist, whether theyâre aware of them or not, so many men are left vulnerable to severe pain in the future.
This is where the support network becomes an absolutely invaluable asset. Menâs fear of vulnerability comes from the feeling that all men have of constantly competing with each other. If we show weakness in a game, our opponents may exploit that weakness to defeat us; the same can be said in life.
âThe best opportunity to build their resilience musclesâ
Whilst that may be true, if we play the same game as a cohesive team of like-minded and supportive men in an environment thatâs safe enough for team members to reveal their weaknesses, then the team can compensate for the failings of the individuals. Over time the team can work at increasing everyoneâs strength.
Resilience is the essence of what The Unbreakable Man is all about; never giving up.
Our job is to challenge each of the men that join us whilst providing a clear framework of coping strategies and a high level of knowledgeable support to give them the best opportunity to build their resilience muscles. We want to make it as easy as we can for you to decide to put yourself in these situations and gain that much-needed experience, but at the end of the day, youâre the only one who can say yes, and nobody can face these challenges for you.
That is why you must become resilient.
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